Douglas Braga poses for the camera at a LGBT football tournament

Soccer has quasi-religious standing in Brazil and changing into knowledgeable participant is each Brazilian boy’s dream. However prejudice inside the sport – and wider Brazilian society – implies that, for some, that dream is lower brief.

When Douglas Braga arrived in Rio de Janeiro on the age of 12, he was full of pleasure. “I had quite a lot of hope,” he says. “I got here right here with a dream – I used to be able to battle for it.”

He’d been scouted by third-division Madureira, and after six years within the youth groups there, Douglas’s dream began to turn out to be a actuality.

At 18, he was signed by Botafogo, one in all Rio’s prime golf equipment, which had just lately received the Brazilian league. However one thing else was occurring to Douglas on the identical time.

‘Hardest resolution of my life’

“I began discovering my sexuality,” he says. “I began seeing that I had needs and that it was for males.”

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As his profession progressed, coaching with gamers who would go on to play for Brazil, and making appearances for the primary workforce, Douglas realised he couldn’t keep on enjoying soccer and be an out homosexual man.

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Courtesy Douglas Braga

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When he was 17 Douglas (left) was enjoying for Madureira’s youth workforce

“It was a selection that both you are your self, otherwise you’re a footballer. It simply wasn’t attainable to be each.” At 21, he give up soccer. It was the hardest resolution of his life.

“That day that I made a decision to not play, I cried a lot,” he remembers. “I walked round for hours crying.”

For all of the flamboyance of its annual carnival, Brazil is a deeply homophobic nation, significantly in the case of soccer. The individuals we converse to inform us what appears apparent – after all there are homosexual males enjoying skilled soccer in Brazil. However no prime degree participant has ever come out.

Take heed to the chants at a soccer match or discuss to the followers right here and it’s not laborious to see why.

Probably the most widespread taunts directed at opposing gamers is “viado”, which interprets as “faggot”.

At a house sport of the table-topping São Paulo workforce Palmeiras, supporters inform us there’s “probably not house” for homosexual males to play skilled soccer in Brazil and that the supporters wouldn’t need to watch homosexual guys enjoying.

‘Macho sport’

One fan, sporting the branded vest of the Palmeiras supporters’ membership, says there isn’t a likelihood a homosexual man might ever play for his workforce: “Soccer is a macho sport. It is a spot for males.”

In the course of the current presidential election marketing campaign in Brazil, another Palmeiras followers had been filmed on a cell phone in a São Paulo metro station chanting: “Look out queers, Bolsonaro’s going to kill the faggots!”

Jair Bolsonaro, who was elected president final 12 months and took workplace on 1 January, has described himself as a “proud homophobe” and stated that if he noticed two males kissing he would bodily assault them.

Watch: Four things about Brazil’s new president

Based on one Brazilian human rights group, 387 LGBT Brazilians had been murdered in trans- and homophobic assaults in 2017, a major enhance on the earlier 12 months.

Regardless of this hostile environment, Douglas is a part of a bunch of males preventing again in opposition to homophobic prejudice in Brazilian soccer and wider society.

Again on the pitch

Fifteen years after that gut-wrenching resolution to depart soccer behind, he’s again on the pitch, enjoying for a homosexual novice workforce referred to as BeesCats.

His teammate, André Machado, based BeesCats so LGBT footballers might come collectively to play in Rio. It was so successful, he helped different homosexual groups to kind across the nation after which, simply over a 12 months in the past, began an LGBT match referred to as the Champions LiGay.

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Douglas and André (backside row, first and second from left) each play for BeesCats

“The LiGay is made for us to play soccer,” André says. “We need to play soccer in a secure place.”

The third Champions LiGay, held in São Paulo, is the most important but. There is a loud, vibrant, get together environment, and the soccer is of a excessive normal.

BeesCats get knocked out within the quarter-finals and Douglas is annoyed they didn’t do higher. However deeper down, there’s a larger disappointment – that his dream of being a professional was lower brief.

“It hurts, seeing my associates from again then nonetheless enjoying as professionals,” he says. “It actually does nonetheless harm as we speak.”

Within the hostile panorama through which homosexual Brazilians now discover themselves, the prospects for the Douglases of the longer term look unsure at greatest.

However, regardless of the election of a brand new homophobic president, the match’s founder, André, is defiant. “Now I am so unhappy with Bolsonaro,” he says.

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André says he thinks resistance to President Bolsonaro’s homophobia will develop

“However I feel the resistance will develop rather a lot within the subsequent few years.”

Is the Champions LiGay a part of the resistance? “Completely. I feel we have now in these two days, perhaps 1,000 individuals right here. And I feel within the different Champions LiGay we shall be increasingly more individuals who need to be part of this.”

Discover out extra: Take heed to David Baker’s report, The Brazilian Footballer Who By no means Was, on Take heed to David Baker’s report, The Brazilian Footballer Who By no means Was, on Crossing Continents on BBC Radio 4 in case you are within the UK or on Assignment on BBC World Service.